MAYBE!!!

Maybe this isn't the best time to buy that stuffs, to get entangle with that person, to allow your heart to be cumbersome with that thoughts and imaginations flying and humming in and out like a bee on flowers. Maybe this is the time to journey backward and see where you are coming from. Maybe it’s time we remind ourselves of our frailty and consider not the strength we've put together so long. This might help us once again to see what we ought to crave for than what we are already dying for.

Sometimes, we are quick to forget "our frames", where we were "carved" out, we think we know many thing, we think we have understanding; we think we are full of wisdom and how to maneuver our ways. Though we may not actually say it out and that does not negate this fact. The absolute thought of "I'm best at this" it’s a signal that we are journeying on a wrong path.

How often do we consider that we could be "deadly wrong", how many times have we looked at ourselves in our closet and tell the sincere truth to our consciousness and sub-consciousness that “we are nothing but dust...” The pursuit of happiness, good living, good job, good home and a lovely family are not what guarantee blessed life. We may have all that we crave for and lose that “which” is craving and yearning for our attention.

I like to admit many times that this life I think I'm living is an "illusions of reality" not just sometimes but many times this physical life deceives me. Often I ask my closet neighbor, though; he is like a blood brother to me, why he so much likes to wander, about this and that. Why he so much concerns about how to get this done and that if possible "undone". His assumption has always been "I want to do things right" I want to be better than this". In the midst of all he's trying to do right or to be better, Mistakes, Failures and disappointments are met firmly. Sometimes, he concludes "I cannot do anything good" but many time he quickly forget the exact word he utters and re-assures himself "I'm fine, I'm good' "I am the best". Maybe his sense of religious activities is the problem.

We all have our self-defense systems, that automatically triggers at any red flags whether they be danger or otherwise. Most of the time this is what God has been trying to reach and chatter for us but we are so quick to embrace it. We often call it, like some folks would say, “that’s who I am”. Is that really the answer?

Back to the story of my blood relative neighbor, I forgot to tell you that he is a Christian, but I’m not sure if he’s actually born-again. Maybe he is but, not his thoughts and imaginations. His defense system is at work daily, this makes it very hard for him to come to a definite conclusion and stick to it that “He can’t do any good things of himself” or “No good thing can come out of him”. Though, He prays it very frequently and fervently, lifting up his hands in worships but the problem is that such word remains a prayer for him.

Psalmist says “He knows our frame and He remembers that we are dust”... Paul went in the same line when he wrote “For I know, in this body of flesh, no good things can come out of it”, “I’m chief of all sinners” wasn't a phrase that comes by, by just mouthing words but by genuine realization of “what” we are... John the Baptist joined the conversation when he declared loud and clear that “He must Increase and I must decrease”

Something must have happened to this bunch of people. It seems that their defense mechanism has been chattered and the only thing they could resolve to was “I’m unworthy” just like a sinner that beat his chest and exclaimed “I’m not worthy to lift up my face to You, have mercy upon me”.

May be we’d forgotten our usual quote “Man at its best is nothing” or how do we quote it this days? It may be that we think that quote doesn't apply to us, its for some set of people.

My conclusion in all this matter is “I could be deadly wrong” in many things I think I know. May be I have not yet learn what real humility is. May be I’m still journeying on a “self-gospel” that I think is the gospel of Christ which is not working this reality into me. Day by day this dawning is coming upon me.

My blood relative brother is someone you know. I don’t need to tell you his name, he knows you also very well. In fact, he’s also reading this write up!!!

LORD;

“I would rather humble myself daily in Your sight than to fear what man would say or do to me” I would rather show and tell You how poor, wretched and naked I am than to allow what man would think of me distract me from this truth” “I would rather cleave to You, The Truth that says ‘I am dust’, stick to it like my gun and rejoice in The Grace You have given me to be call by Your name, than to build up a mansion around so call beliefs of self-esteem, self-important, self-defense, self-development which world is teaching as a way to Joy”

Teach me Lord this truth and cause humility to be born in me!!